Time to buckle down...

I've been working out 6 days a week for just over 2 weeks now.. I'm not losing any weight... But I know it's because I haven't been eating right... Now that I've started on the right foot exercise wise, I'm going to make more of an effort to keep the calorie count way low... It's been really hard to eat right, let alone count calories because I've been eating out more than I've been eating at home.. Staying in the 190s is not acceptable. My focus right now is to be in the 180s before I move to Redondo... My boss is being an ass. First he tells me that I won't have to do anything but fill out a transfer paper... Then last week he tells me I need to either go down there or call all of the stores and see if there are any openings... So I called some stores yesterday on my break and one of the manager told me to fax him my transfer paper and he'd give it to the district manager and make sure all the stores got it... Ugh.. then my boss is like.. "If I were you I'd call in every day. You have to drive this one. It's up to you".. and all the while hes talking to me as if I'm a child or some really bad slacker/procastinator.. It pisses me off. I'm so over him.. He needs to hurry up and leave.

Anyway.. I'm going to the gym to work out with my coworker and her bf.. here goes nothing

What's wrong with this picture?

So I just found out that my best friend in high school is engaged to her guy best friend in high school. She's fatter than me and some how she's getting everything she wants. She was in band in high school and I guess she's always been pretty popular.. But damn. What the hells wrong with me? I'm fat, but I can make it look decent. Is it my glasses? Do I look like a nerd or something? Fuck. I'm so tired of being fat. I didn't realize that on top of that I was ugly too? That's it. I'm going to live at the gym. I'm not going to have anything at work. I'm going to stick with no food after 7. No soda. No ice cream. Just water. 500 calories a day. No more weed. No more social life until I start losing weight. What's the point in satisfying food and drink cravings if you're fat? I guess that's why you'd be fat. I'm so fucking tired of feeling left behind; forced to watch my friends live my dreams. I'm sorry that this post is full of ranting and venting. Here's my new workout plan: cardio every day, arms monday and tuesday, abs/back wednesday and thursday, legs/butt friday and saturday; if I go on sunday it will just be cardio. Plus I want to go to hawaii in the summer, so my goal is to at least be in the 140s if not less... We'll see how far down I can get by then.. Here goes nothing.

I have some questions for my readers...

1. what are your favorite workouts?

2. what are your favorite songs to listen to when you workout?

3. what are the most effective workouts for fat loss?

4. what are the most effective workouts to tone: arms, legs, abs, butt?

5. how long do you normally workout/do different exercises?

I read a lot on the internet, but I want to hear what you guys do at the gym and what seem to be the most effective workouts...

Yikes...

192.0 T.T Complete sadness... Well cardio is tonight... No food after 7... Just water and protein shakes after 7... I'll try and post after my workout...

GYM!

Yay it was upper arms today... Tomorrow is cardio... Total intake- 1120... Its good.. not great... but I did say I was allowing myself 1500... Didn't weigh in... maybe tomorrow? maybe next monday? who knows.... Well till next time lovelies

Hallelujia!

I got my gym membership activated today! I'm going to do 3 days of strenght training and 2 days of cardio... Maybe alternate that... Maybe just try and go every day and make every other day strength training and every other day cardio... I'm counting my calories big time... My BMR is 1697.7 so I'm not going to consume more than 1500 calories a day... I can't remember the last time I weighed myself, but I know it can't be good... I don't really know what else to say right now, but I will be posting more often...

I don't know

what's wrong with me anymore... I'm so fucking fat and I can't get out of the funk that I'm in... I just don't know what to do... How do I get motivated again? I read your blogs and look at thinspo and everything under the sun that should be getting me motivated, but nothing seems to work... I can't be fat anymore. I need to be the good kind of head turner, the skinny kind. FUCK. I'm sorry for you new followers... I wish I could be better thinspo or have a better post.... I'm not just fat... I'm the fattest kind of fat... It would be totally different if I was 40lbs lighter... Then I'd still be fat, but not as fat... You know? Encouragement please... Advice too please...