Alrighty then...

I love new starts... I've been screwing up left and right because I'm on the rag and I don't feel like paying attention right now... I don't want to weigh myself because I know that it's not going to be fully accurate with all the bloating...... I crave chocolate like crazy, but chocolate's been making me sick lately... I'm glad... I still haven't been eating "right"... Like I said, I haven't felt like paying attention... So I want a new start and I'm going to take it... I'm completely broke because I've spent the last of my money on junk food and diet pills and chocolate and protien powder... It's a random list of things, but I'm not surprised... My cravings are overwhelming when I'm on... Ugh... But I'm past the worst of it... So... Don't give up on me yet because I really need the support... Right now I just want to drink water... Maybe have a chocolate to keep me from binging... Which is better? Exercising in the morning, at night, or both? Which is most effective? I can't stop thinking about food and exercise, but I love it.. I just need to get off my ass and get motivated so that all the money I spent on my "skinny" clothes doesn't go to waste... So yeah.. Motivation... Advice... Both are very much needed please

I haven't weighed myself in days... I'm afraid to.. I feel like I've been on some week long bing... I'm probably back at my starting weight.. I'm going to fast again... I'm not going to eat until I get into the 170s... I'll weigh myself tomorrow... I've only been up 20 minutes and I've already binged on kettle corn... I'm so fucking disgusting... That kettle corn is the last thing I'm going to taste in a long time... Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why don't I have any control?

Wow...

How exciting! I can't believe 9 people are following me... Thank you so much... If I'm not already following your blog, let me know so I can check it out...

Anyway... I bought some thinspiring clothes... I'm currently at size 14/16... My first goal is 11/13, then 7/9, then 3/5... And finally 0, but I don't think I've ever been a 0 so I'm going to wait till I get to that size before I buy anything...

Time to start hiding away in my room again... I went grocery shopping today... Got $40 worth of healthy food so if I do binge it won't be as bad... I'll keep you guys posted...

Ugh...

I hate being broke and tired... I wanted to buy some food yesterday... Good and healthy food... But I've overdrawn my credit card... So my spare money that I was going to use went to my bill.. Oh well.. At least I'm getting paid on Friday

I'm so jealous of all you skinny girls... That's helping keep me motivated... I need to get out of these 180s... Maybe then I won't feel like such a giant beast compared to you lovelies... I'll get there eventually... I'm just so over this waiting and scale whoring....

I know I said I wasn't going to set a date for me to be 180... But... I feel like I have to have something to look forward to.. I'm a numbers girl.. So I want to be 180 by Sunday... So... Strict restricting... Constant exercise... Yeah... I have 4.6lbs to lose in about 4.5 days... I can do it! I'm going to try the ABC diet... Should lose 20lbs.. I'm going to make sure that I find some vitamins and lean proteins (vegetarian friendly) to try and counteract the lack of calories... I wish I would have thought of using this diet sooner... I've already spent my calories for today.. I have about 6 left.. It's probably a good thing though..

I need to be 180.. I have to be 180.

So today I was craving my little soy pumpkin spice cream... That part was no biggy.. I drank it.. It was delicious... But then I get to craving my cheese bagel.. Toasted.. with butter... It was yum and I made sure my parents saw me eat it... So tomorrow is going to be a zero cal day for me.. I have a short easy shift so I won't have to be tempted too long... But yeah.. I'm not setting a date for me to be 180.. I'm just focusing on getting there... I have to buy some food so that I don't binge on pure shit... fruits and veggies and whatnot.. I'll probably visit Trader Joe's tomorrow.. But.. I have got to drop some weight ASAP.. my former best friend from hs is coming home for the holiday.. yeah.. needless to say.. I know she's got to be pushing 200 if not past it... So I have to be as thin as possible before I possibly see her... Ugh.. I'm so tired of being fat

Advice please...

So I'd like to know from real people some fasting facts... Like what's the minimum number of days I should go? What's the max?... I have a lot of fat so I could probably go a long time... Also how often can I do it? I've read a lot online, but I want to hear from you guys...

Idk what to say...

I haven't been posting the past couple days.. It's been a bad weekend full of binging.. Luckily, I've been staying at 185.. Just bouncing between the ounces... I'm still debating on whether or not to keep eating and just stick to salads and whatnot or just restart my fast.. I'm leaning more toward the fast because I love feeling empty like that... I have my friends baby shower today so I'll decide if I want to eat there when I get there... But... I need to figure out how to get away with not eating at home... My parents are noticing that they haven't seen me eat here... I don't want to waste money on food that's just going to expire from me not eating.. Any suggestions?

:33

I'm so proud of myself.. And at the same time I'm so disappointed.. I walked/jogged a mile this morning and again just now... But my damn sweet tooth came out with a vengeance during work... Damn smoothies... So I'm 50/50 about weighing in tomorrow.. Now the question is: Should I weigh myself before or after I go walking/jogging? Maybe I'll just have to do it before and after.. I hope I've lost something.. even .1 lb is better than nothing... Oh well, we'll see... Till next time, lovelies

My Animals

Here's my Lucky boy :).. He's almost 2 and he's deaf

Here's Sadie! She just turned 3... In case you don't know your breeds, she's a boxer :D

This is my lil Angel... She's 3 as well

Idk why, but I love this pic of me and Sadie

*good sigh*

I finally knocked out!... Almost slept 8 hours. As soon as I woke up I peed and weighed myself... Finally got rid of that damn binge weight from a few days ago.. As soon as I got done with that I did 30 sit-ups and 30 leg-ups.. Burn belly fat, BURN! I'm going to take my dog for another walk tomorrow morning.. Maybe even talk both of them... My dalmation almost dislocated my wrist this morning (or so it seemed haha)... So now I'm chugging my ice cold water and watching family guy haha.. Till next time lovelies

Which one do you think looks worse?

Me trying to drag my fat ass up the hills in my neighborhood? Or my 80lb dalmation dragging my fat ass up the hills in my neighborhood? I say the first one because at least I had my cute dogs distracting from my ugly jiggling... So yeah... even though I haven't slept in 24 hours, I'm still awake.. and as soon as I got home from I grabbed my dogs and took them for a walk.. I'm so proud of my self.. I took the long way and everything.. So I was dragged up and down hills for a whole mile... I need to find some more exercises though.. This doesnt feel like enough.. On the even brighter side, I didn't eat at work! AYAYAAYAYAAYA! Translation: Way to go me!... Now hopefully my scales will tell me what I want to see

Is it crazy??

To make it a goal to lose .5lbs every day? It's not really concrete.. I'm just trying to figure out exactly when I want to try and reach my UGW of 100 lbs... Of course I'll change it as I go.. I just like to look at numbers and whatnot to put things into perspective... For now that's what I'm going to try and do.. I'm not looking forward to finding my plateau weight.. But I know I've got at least a good 20 lbs before that'll happen.. Hopefully...