I need to be 180.. I have to be 180.

So today I was craving my little soy pumpkin spice cream... That part was no biggy.. I drank it.. It was delicious... But then I get to craving my cheese bagel.. Toasted.. with butter... It was yum and I made sure my parents saw me eat it... So tomorrow is going to be a zero cal day for me.. I have a short easy shift so I won't have to be tempted too long... But yeah.. I'm not setting a date for me to be 180.. I'm just focusing on getting there... I have to buy some food so that I don't binge on pure shit... fruits and veggies and whatnot.. I'll probably visit Trader Joe's tomorrow.. But.. I have got to drop some weight ASAP.. my former best friend from hs is coming home for the holiday.. yeah.. needless to say.. I know she's got to be pushing 200 if not past it... So I have to be as thin as possible before I possibly see her... Ugh.. I'm so tired of being fat